Watchwords - An Alternative to New Year's Resolutions

As the end of the year approaches, most of us are focused on celebrating the season and setting intentions for the New Year. For our family, even more so than usual, our celebration will be all about enjoying being together with good food, lots of laughter, and a little wine thrown in for good measure. It’s been both an exciting and a tough year. Liz and Jared made a huge life change when they decided to rent out their house, buy a sailboat, and live aboard. Caro bought a cute fixer-upper house with tons of potential at the end of last year and has spent the year doing renovations… and finding love. For both girls, the year has been filled with joys and not-so-joyous surprises. Engine trouble? Windows and doors that must be replaced ASAP? Falling in love with the vagabond lifestyle? Falling in love with a lovely man? Thankfully, the pluses far outweigh the minuses.

And that is the key. Looking at life as a whole and seeing that the pluses always outweigh the minuses no matter how bad we may think circumstances are in the moment. After all, circumstances pass and the more we focus on what we want beyond current circumstances the faster those happier times will come.

This is also the time of year when I focus on the year ahead and set my intentions for what that year will be.

Long ago, I gave up making New Year’s resolutions. They only work if you OWN a gym! Does this sound familiar? It's January 1 and even your fat jeans are too tight. So you join a gym and start off with a bang, probably overdoing everything. By January 30, you're burnt out, but haven't burned off a single pound - and you’ve spend most of your workout time thinking about what you "should" be doing instead. So then you start thinking “Maybe I’ll skip it just this once.” Besides, it's eating up so much time that there is no time left for healthy cooking, so you take short cuts and end up eating stuff you "shouldn't" and before you know it, another resolution has bitten the dust. Argh!!!!!!

So I no longer believe in New Year's Resolutions, but I do believe it is possible to set yourself up for success in the New Year. It just takes a new approach.

Instead of setting resolutions, adopt a Watchword. It's very simple really. You choose a word or phrase that becomes your theme for the year and use that as a benchmark for every decision and action all year. That's it. The beauty is that it teaches you a new way to be rather than just changing a couple of habits.

One year, I chose the word "jettison." The idea was to get rid of anything that did not serve me - relationships, habits, clutter, you name it. Part of the deal was to not bring in new stuff that would just become more junk at some point. It was a year of honing my decision-making processes and going deeper with what was really important.

Another year, my Watchword was "effortlessly." Anything too complicated, convoluted, or stressful was not allowed to make the cut. It taught me that simple is usually better and if we are having to strive too hard, we might be going in the wrong direction. It also taught me an unexpected and even more valuable lesson about how we block our own receiving through needlessly complicating things.

Another personal favorite was the word “enough.” That one took a lot of flack from well-meaning folks before they understood the real meaning. Always having enough – enough money, enough health, enough love – is the purest form of abundance. It’s easy to forget how much really is enough since we are constantly bombarded by advertising telling us that we “need” all sorts of things in order to be happy even though genuine contentment really comes from a deep understanding of the simple word “enough.”

And speaking of “contentment,” that was another great Watchword. True contentment happens when we learn to accept whatever is and enjoy each moment in gratitude even as we move purposefully towards our preferred future.

Sometimes the Watchword is a phrase. One year, I borrowed a popular saying – “No one can go back and get a new beginning, but anyone can start now and get a new ending.” It helped me truly accept that where I am right now at any given moment is right where I'm meant to be. But it also helped me weigh choices - would they take me to my preferred future or would they just keep me on the same old path. It's possible to set, and achieve, good goals that won't get us where we really want to be.

Resolutions, while well-intended, are inherently problematic. Too often, we take a pass or fail approach that is almost guaranteed to result in feeling like a failure. Or the list is so big we are overwhelmed before we can even get started. Or we set goals that are too far out without outlining the baby steps that will get us there. Or we forget that celebrating the baby steps is just as important as celebrating the goal itself. Riding high on a season of good cheer and excited about a shiny new year, we say "yes" to too much and are quickly swamped. So we toss out the whole plan and chide ourselves rather than acknowledging that we may have set ourselves up for failure in the first place. For many of us, setting resolutions falls into the category of doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results!

Since starting this tradition, I have spent time every December reflecting on the year that just was and contemplating the year to come. The contemplation is rooted in gratitude - for “what is” right now and for what will be the "what is" a year from now. I ask myself what I want to be different in my life, what I want to be giving thanks for next December, and the Watchword emerges. Then as I go through the year, the Watchword becomes my barometer for choices. My Watchword is my guide, my muse, and my goals all wrapped into one neat package. Living by Watchword becomes a way of life, a way of being, a way of becoming your own best You. Or maybe it is simply a way to help me remember that I am already my own best Me at any given moment.

So amidst the hurry and scurry of the holidays, I hope you will make some quiet time for yourself and bask in gratitude. And think forward. What would you like to be thankful for this time next year? Then set a Watchword that will guide you there.

Courageous Kidz

When I asked Debby Stephenson, known as Flash to her friends, to share a story or two about children who have been helped by Courageous Kidz, I did not expect to be hit with 20 pages of letters from the families of those children. That was two hours ago and it took this long to dry my tears, still my heart, and even be able to think about writing.

To a child with cancer, there is no such thing as a “normal” day. There are treatment days and post-treatment days and sick days and getting-through-it days, but the carefree days of just being a kid are few and far between.

Anyone who has experienced cancer, including me, can tell you that it is much more than a disease. When the word “cancer” is used in a sentence with your name or the name of your child, everything about your world changes. From that point forward, the Big C becomes the elephant in the room, dominating every choice. Thankfully, we have a strong medical community to treat the disease, but who treats everything else? I learned through my own experience that there is a huge difference between treating or curing the body and healing the person.

Thankfully, for kids with cancer in Charleston, SC there is Courageous Kidz.

You need to know this. I have been asking and asking for Debby to tell me how she became so passionate about helping children with cancer. Every time, she responds with stories about the children! For Debby, this is simply who she is. I suspect she would just curl up and expire herself if she could not help these kids.

Consider the story of Jessica Clark.

Jessica Clark is now 19 yrs old. She is a two time cancer survivor. At the age of 13 months, Jessica was diagnosed with Neuroblastoma. She did several rounds of chemotherapy, but after going into remission for a while, she developed all sorts of health issues, including a heart condition, as a result of the chemotherapy. That required more surgery. But here’s the good news…she has now been in remission for over 10 years which to cancer patients usually signals “home free.”

Jessica reached her freshman year in high school and at the age of 15 was diagnosed with a brain tumor. Because of the location of the tumor surgery was not an option. Devastated Jessica took the one round of radiation therapy offered by her doctors and prayed for the best along with her family and friends.

We happily report that the tumor is gone. Jessica went on to graduate high school and is now a sophomore in college with a major in Pediatric Oncology. She I also a volunteer for Courageous Kidz and loves helping the children. She is truly a miracle and inspiration to many!!

Courageous Kidz provides a calendar packed with fun activities where kidz can meet new friends who understand what they are going through. Their mission is to provide year round unforgettable experiences for kids with cancer and their families in South Carolina. This organization supplies a much needed respite, mutual support and positive activities free of charge. Just hop over to their webpage and take a look at the photos of their Carowinds trip if you want to see a sea of smiling faces.

These Courageous Kidz are an inspiration to us all. Faced with the possibility of a short life span plagued with everything that goes along with cancer, they show us what it means to live courageously every day and motivate us to do the same. On their behalf I challenge YOU to live courageously.

PS - We'll figure out how to post the letters from the families and share those with you soon.

Piedmont Progressive Playschool

We all want our children to receive the best start in life they possibly can. As loving Moms and Dads, we hug them, read to them, play creatively with them, feed them healthy foods, and teach them right from wrong.

And we educate them. From their first breath, they are learning from what we purposely teach and from everything that is happening around them. One of the biggest decisions we make for our children in those early years is where to send them to preschool.

Mary Coppola and Susan Burns are the kind of mom who take that decision very seriously. They met in 2001 when their children were attending the same school. Though it was a long drive, they were willing to make that drive on behalf of their children. And yet, they also shared a dream for similar preschool closer to their homes.

They had a perfect blueprint available in the philosophy developed by Sue Riley, a highly respected educator in Charlotte, NC who also offered her direct guidance to help the school get up and running. All three women agreed that the school should promote freedom of thought and action for young children, and that it should embrace a strong sense of aesthetics.

And Piedmont Progressive Playschool was born.

The school has grown from a single multi-age classroom to a full program for two to five year olds plus some of the most creative summer camps imaginable. Can’t you just picture the fun of Fairy Tales and Dragon Scales? Knights, fair maidens, and castles come together through playing dress up and role playing as well as through art, reading, dance, and music making. Can grown ups come too if we promise to act like kids and allow our inner child out to play?

Or how about Earth and Me which explores our natural world with all fives sense by taking walks in the woods, playing with photography, making art from found objects, tending a garden, watching birds (turtles, bugs, lizards, snails, and frogs), and keeping a nature journal. Sign me up!

And every kid loves to play with food, right? Stir It Up invites little chefs to work together preparing food to share with each other as well as treats of the birds and their furry friends at home. Imagine the fun of imaginary play, art projects, sewing projects, caring for foods growing in the garden, even composting. Yummm!!!!

Though Mary and Susan “retired” in 2005 so they could spend more time with their own children, the school has continued to grow under the leadership of dedicated patents and staff. And that’s just as it should be. Everyone working together to ensue that kids have the best childhood possible, filled with opportunities to learn and play and love.

The motto at Piedmont Progressive Playschool is “Play is Powerful.” Sounds like a motto we could all adopt!

To learn more visit http://www.progressivepreschool.org/index.html

Louie's Kids

Growing up is hard under any circumstances, but for the 25 million American kids classified as obese it’s even more challenging. In fact, one third of America’s children are considered either obese or overweight which robs them of basic joys in life and leads to the even greater problems of diabetes, heart disease, and stroke. Even worse, this is the first generation expected to have a shorter life expectancy that their parents.

Something must change.

Education is helpful and important, but for kids who are already afflicted treatment is vital. That’s where Louie’s Kids comes in. Let’s meet a few of the kids.

To look at Deon Seabrook today, you would never know he was 40 pounds overweight as a teen and worried that the weight was threatening his health and hopes and dreams. Through Louie’s Kids, Deon was able to lose 40 pounds in 6 months which he has kept off. This super confidence booster has changed his entire lifestyle to one of “Can Do.” Deon is a young man with big plans and a determination to make them happen. He sings in his church choir, recently attended his Senior Prom, and is preparing for high school graduation. He will be attending Allen University in SC next fall. Deon says, “I'm now very
dedicated and will continue to be.”


Dequan and Trequan are 7th graders who first became involved with Louie’s Kids through their school’s Fit Club. Completing the program and losing weight motivated the boys to set another ambitious goal – making their school’s football team. Knowing that would take even more work and dedication, they joined Louie’s Kids Run Buddies. Both boys lost more weight, got even more healthy, and both made the team! They credit Louie’s Kids with helping them set and achieve goals and with providing the education and treatment to make it happen.

For kids like Deon, Dequan, and Trequan, Louie’s Kids is far more than just a fitness program. Their entire lives have been changed for the better.

Louie’s Kids is the brain child of Louis Yuhasz. Founded in 2001 in Alexandria, VA to honor of his father, the organization now serves economically disadvantaged kids nationwide through its Fit Club and Run Buddies programs.

At the time of his death, Louis’ father, known as Big Louie, weighed 550 pounds. The stroke that took his life probably could have been prevented if there had been a CAT scan machine large enough for him to fit in and detect what was happening. Louis grew up dealing with the humiliation of having people point and laugh at his father, yet he knew Big Louie as a hugely kind and compassionate man. “They didn't know our Dad and his tremendous heart; they only saw his tremendous size. Our Dad made us better human beings because of his compassion and fearlessness, and he never missed an opportunity to stand up for himself.” Louis knew it was the size of his heart, not the size of his body, that deserved to be seen. Yet he had also seen first-hand the many ways obesity could damage a life. Inspired by an Oprah episode, Louis began by sending just a couple of underprivileged kids to weight-loss camp and from that spark the Fit Club and Run Buddies programs have been born and helped many more kids.


For Louis, it’s personal. “To see the smiles on kids’ faces as they complete a climb up a rock wall, repel from one mountain to the next, hike 4.5 miles, participate in a sport (as opposed to warming the bench), or find a lifelong friend as so many of them have, is like no other experience I've known. I was able to feel the presence of my father and be with him there, which was an added blessing.”


Helping a child break free from a life of obesity and all the problems that brings not only changes the life of that child, it improves our entire community. We regain the potential that might have been lost. We positively impact medical costs. And we bring a little more joy into the world. On behalf of Louie’s Kids and all the kids they have served and will serve, thank you. Your contribution will make a difference.

Game On!

Remember this?

“Hey, your chocolate is in my peanut butter!”
“Well, your peanut butter is in my chocolate!”
“Yummmmmmm………”

That’s how I am feeling this month with the launch of the Chicks Challenge Giving Game.

The game is simple – Every month, Chicks with Checks members nominate their favorite nonprofits by creating a fill-in-the-blank information web page. That information page is added to the Chicks Challenge game page. We all send our friends, families, and supporters to the game page to “vote” for their favorites with their Donation Dollars.* The organization receiving the largest number of votes “wins” the membership donation plus their own voting Donation Dollars and any matching grants. All other nominees receive their own donation dollars. That’s it.

Nominate.
Vote.
Donate.
Repeat.

Think “Pepsi Refresh meets fundraising.” Every month.

This is exciting for so many reasons I hardly know where to begin. Perhaps starting with a little story might help.

The idea for Chicks with Checks began hatching five years ago due to some big changes in my life. The part of the story about surviving cancer and wanting to shift my business and my giving has been told many times and is on the Chicks with Checks website http://www.chickswithchecks.org so I’ll pick it up from there.

In the beginning, the idea was hazy at best and mostly in the form of questions. What if we had a social club that focused on giving instead of Bunco or Bridge? What if we pooled our money and found local nonprofits to support? At that point, I knew about investment pools and garden clubs, but had never heard of social networks or giving circles. Hint: When the cosmos taps you on the shoulder with a little idea that wants to Live Large, be prepared.

One evening, I met a dear friend at a local restaurant for a gal pals catch up. We chatted business for a bit, I shared the glimmer of this idea, and then we closed our day with a glass of wine. And that’s when Fate stepped in.

As two gentlemen walked past, one accidently knocked my Daytimer onto the floor. As he apologized profusely, he struck up conversation and when he heard what we were discussing, got all excited. I needed to meet his girlfriend. She was on her way to the restaurant. She was the Executive Directive of a nonprofit he was sure I’d never heard of and needed to. See what I mean?

A tall, beautiful blond woman walked in about then. He introduced us and we were off and running like two magpies. Suddenly, she stopped, looked me straight in the eye, and said, “So when are you going to start?” I looked right back and without skipping a beat asked, “You want to go first?”

We held the first gathering in my home with a few of my friends. The very next week, the phone rang. It was a nonprofit who wanted to know how they could become a beneficiary. Things were off and running and I was hanging on for dear life.

Calls started coming in from nonprofits around the country and so did calls from women wanting to start chapters. Only problem was the communities weren’t matching up and we were having to tell too many nonprofits they had to wait for a local chapter. There had to be a better way.

That better way is the Chicks Challenge Giving Game. Now any nonprofit can be a beneficiary without waiting for a local chapter. Now any member’s favorite nonprofits can be a beneficiary as often as they like no matter where they are located.

Once again, we needed someone willing to “Go First” and I am delighted to present Louie’s Kids, Courageous Kidz, and Piedmont Progressive Preschool as our first Chicks Challenge beneficiaries. How perfect to have kid-themed organizations for this holiday season launch!

I’ll be sharing more about each organization later this week. In the meantime, please visit http://www.razoo.com/p/holiday-04-chicks-challenge to learn more about them and about Chicks Challenge.

Turns out, taking Chicks with Checks virtual and viral is lot like combining chocolate and peanut butter – a combination so naturally delicious, you wonder why no one else had thought of it. It’s the perfect way to have even more fun raising friends and funds for our all-important local nonprofits. Come play with us!

Happy Giving!

* Though only members can nominate, anyone an vote.

Give Your Favorite Nonprofit $12,500 (Without Writing the Check Yourself)

Chicks with Checks is doing something HUGE and very special this holiday season and we need your help to make it happen.

Our goal is to give someone’s favorite local nonprofit, maybe your favorite organization, $12,500 to start the New Year. To do that, we must increase membership to 500 Chicks (and Dudes) before the end of the year. Are you on board?

We are so excited to introduce the monthly online Chicks Challenge Giving Game. Think the “Pepsi Refresh” as fundraising!

Here’s how you can play and how your favorite nonprofit can win:

1. Become a Chicks with Checks member. Dudes with Dollars are also welcome!
2. Nominate your favorite nonprofit. Visit www.chickswithchecks.org for complete nominating guidelines.
3. Forward this email along with a personal message from you and inspire at least 5 friends to become members. Then they can nominate their own favorite nonprofits.
4. VOTE! Send your family, friends, the organization’s supporters, your Facebook contacts, EVERYONE to the campaign site. Every donation dollar counts as one vote.

As a Chicks with Checks member, you can now nominate your favorite local nonprofits every month. No more waiting for a chapter in your area. No more “one organization per month” or “once per year” limits.

What’s in it for you? Activating and increasing your own receiving, that’s what! According to the Law of Giving, the Giver becomes the Receiver becomes the Giver becomes the Receiver in a cycle of ever-flowing bounty. One of the most powerful ways to access that flow is to practice the principle of Seed Money in which everything you give comes back to you tenfold. Chicks with Checks is a fun and budget-friendly way to systematically give to worthy causes to activate your own Seed Money returns. Plus, you will also connect with a vibrant, supportive community of Givers and Receivers where you can share stories, learn, and grow.

Join
Nominate
Invite
VOTE

It’s that easy!

Happy Giving!