Paying It Forward or Giving Back. Have you ever noticed how those two phrases describing the same transaction are structural opposites? Hope so, because there’s a good reason to look at giving from both perspectives. One speaks to Seed Money, the other to Tithing. Both are important parts of the giving cycle.
You probably know about Tithing, the belief that we should give back 10% of what we earn as an expression of gratitude for what we have received. You may not be as aware of Seed Money which starts at the front end of the process and says that everything we give will come back to us tenfold. The math here really works in the giver’s favor. What we pay forward comes back to us 10x yet we only need to give back 10%? Sign me up!
The principle of Seed Money is just as ancient as the principle of Tithing, but hasn’t received the same publicity. I suspect its day is coming based on three factors: the increased awareness of natural laws such as the Law of Attraction and the Law of Giving, the popularity of the Abundance principles of success, and the ragged economy.
When the economy began its nosedive, people naturally started cutting back on their spending including their giving. Yet if the principle of Seed Money is true, and I personally believe it is, then tight times are when we should get more systematic and mindful about our giving, even if the amount itself becomes smaller for a while.
Enter Giving Circles. Six years ago as the economy was entering its swoon, giving circles were still flying under the radar. In 2006, there were fewer than 400 known Giving Circles in the United States mostly working quietly behind the scenes. Three years ago, they were a trend in the making. Today, they have exploded in the US with an estimated 800 Giving Circles now working vibrantly and vocally. These often-small groups of people gathering in homes, restaurants, and coffee shops are pooling their money to give together and in the process they have become a significant philanthropic force that has raised over $100 million to support every charitable cause imaginable.
Laurie Melstrom started her Giving Circle several years ago just as the stock market decided to jump from the plane with no parachute. "This economic downturn has a lot of people breaking out into a sweat," said the Cadillac, Michigan homemaker. "Yet everyone said, 'Count me in.’ Individually, the group's 10 or 12 prospective members can't make much difference, but together we'll be able to make the kind of donation that our small charities are really going to need in tough times."
That’s the beauty of a Giving Circle. According to Wikipedia, “Giving Circles are a form of philanthropy consisting of groups of individuals who pool their funds and other resources to donate to their communities, and seek to increase their awareness and engagement in the process of giving.” Sort of like an investing club or a book club for giving, each group typically has a theme or common cause such as children’s or women’s issues, poverty, or community organizations. Often the individual donations are small, yet when combined they can make a real difference.
And the receiving organizations are not the only beneficiaries. In co-creating a meaningful donation, the members receive multiple benefits of their own. In addition to enjoying the company of other joyful givers, they are igniting the principle of Seed Money in their own lives. Those gifts, no matter how large or how small, will come back to them often in unexpected ways enabling them to give again, maybe give more, which triggers even more receiving and more giving – after all, giving and receiving are the yin and yang of the same cycle - and that is the textbook definition of a Win – Win situation.
Giving Circles are a little idea that has learned to Live Large with meaningful benefits to all involved on both sides of the equation. Through collaborative generosity and connection to others, giving circles embody the philosophy “If we each do a little, together we can do a lot.”
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Friday, January 14, 2011
Are You a Giver or a Taker - The Answer May Not Be as Simple as You Think
A couple of days ago, I received a surprise phone call from a dear friend I hadn’t heard from in a while. Though the conversation was long and chatty as catch-up calls can be, it quickly zeroed in a something that was clearly gnawing on her mind.
She shared a story about helping someone, someone she thought was her best friend, only to be stabbed in the back in more ways than you can imagine. Naturally, she was hurt, twice when you think about it. Just being betrayed is bad enough, but getting that treatment from a close friend who had asked for and received help can be devastating.
As we talked, my friend wondered how she could give “good” and receive meanness in return…whether she might be too giving or did not always use good common sense and firm boundaries…if I she could strengthen her radar and develop a better feel for whether a person was a Giver or a Taker.
Good questions.
So I emailed two articles to her – “A Dozen Ways to Spot Takers Disguised as Givers” and “Are You a Giver or Taker?” And here’s where the story starts to get really interesting.
The next day, she left an excited message saying she had read the articles and now wondered if she was more of a taker than she had ever realized! In our next conversation she jumped right in: “I shared that one article – the dozen ways – with a couple of friends and asked if they saw me in that checklist because I saw myself in several of the points.”
Then she asked another really important question.
“If I can recognize this about myself, does that mean I’m a Taker or does it mean I’m a Giver who messes up sometimes? Isn’t it true that Takers can’t see this in themselves?”
Bingo.
In “Are You a Giver or a Taker,” the writer tells of a woman who attended one of his seminars. She complained bitterly, criticized everything, hogged the spotlight, and generally found fault. Then she accused the speaker of being the Taker for not giving her exactly what she wanted even though she was the one who refused to allow herself to be pleased!
One of the hallmarks of being a Taker is that they can never be satisfied. Their “what’s in it for me” approach to life leaves them always grasping for more without the ability to be grateful for what they have right now. Other people typically respond by backing off and declining to give any more to such a grasping person or by trying to “fix” them. My friend was beginning to suspect she might be a fixer and that might make her a Taker in disguise.
Since Takers subconsciously believe that they have to “go after” what they want and “make” it happen, they are in no mood to be fixed. They are stuck in what Ken Kreis calls an “emotional vacuum” so when something they perceive as a need is not being met, they go after filling that need by getting (taking), rather than giving. That is a huge indicator of low self-confidence or self-worth. They are often jealous. They infringe on the rights and space of others while attributing the crowdedness to others invading their space and rights. Do you see a pattern here? They think you are the one with the problem. “Taking” and judging by “what’s in it for me” are the best, and perhaps the only, ways they know how to get what they want. They will drain you of everything you have to give and still resent you because “taking” turns them into a bottomless pit. And they will interpret your normal and natural expectation for gratitude as having strings attached. And guess what. On this one they are right. As soon as you have expectations of any kind, even of receiving what you consider to be gratitude, you have inadvertently negated your gift.
One of the greatest challenges of life is learning unconditional giving, savoring the giving itself as enough. Simply giving and setting it free. Practicing the fine art of allowing the gift to find its own mark …or not.
As we talked, my friend related another story. Several months previously, another friend had gotten married. On the day of the wedding, she had shared some words of wisdom. “No matter what happens, remember to be present in every moment of this day. It will pass quickly and you will want to savor it all.” She spoke the words and forgot them. Months later, her friend mentioned that those words had made all the difference in how she experienced one of the most important days of her life.
I asked her how that made her feel. Great, of course, was her answer. I asked her what was different about the two giving experiences. She noticed two. First, the two friends were very different. One was able to receive and the other was only able to take. Then a light went off - she suddenly recognized how judging her friends’ ability to receive pegged her own feelings on someone else’s actions and how that perspective gave away her personal power. But even more importantly, she realized in one situation she gave and released what she had given - completely forgot about it– and in the other, she expected certain behaviors in return. She had unknowingly set herself up.
And that’s the secret. Unconditional giving makes us feel great. It energizes us and renews our joy in giving. The intended recipient cannot hurt us because we’ve already received our reward through the joy of giving. My friend still wants to become more mindful and less of a “fixer,” but I think she also discovered a new peace in realizing her work is done the moment she gives. The idea of giving and letting it go seemed pretty appealing.
Both of the articles contain checklists for how to recognize a Taker which can serve as a good self-assessment. In answer to my friend’s second question – If I can see this in myself, does that mean I’m a Taker or a Giver? I would say she’s a Growing Giver. It’s rare that Takers see their own actions clearly. That’s part of being a Taker. So I challenge you to take one of the tests. Even Great Givers can grow!
She shared a story about helping someone, someone she thought was her best friend, only to be stabbed in the back in more ways than you can imagine. Naturally, she was hurt, twice when you think about it. Just being betrayed is bad enough, but getting that treatment from a close friend who had asked for and received help can be devastating.
As we talked, my friend wondered how she could give “good” and receive meanness in return…whether she might be too giving or did not always use good common sense and firm boundaries…if I she could strengthen her radar and develop a better feel for whether a person was a Giver or a Taker.
Good questions.
So I emailed two articles to her – “A Dozen Ways to Spot Takers Disguised as Givers” and “Are You a Giver or Taker?” And here’s where the story starts to get really interesting.
The next day, she left an excited message saying she had read the articles and now wondered if she was more of a taker than she had ever realized! In our next conversation she jumped right in: “I shared that one article – the dozen ways – with a couple of friends and asked if they saw me in that checklist because I saw myself in several of the points.”
Then she asked another really important question.
“If I can recognize this about myself, does that mean I’m a Taker or does it mean I’m a Giver who messes up sometimes? Isn’t it true that Takers can’t see this in themselves?”
Bingo.
In “Are You a Giver or a Taker,” the writer tells of a woman who attended one of his seminars. She complained bitterly, criticized everything, hogged the spotlight, and generally found fault. Then she accused the speaker of being the Taker for not giving her exactly what she wanted even though she was the one who refused to allow herself to be pleased!
One of the hallmarks of being a Taker is that they can never be satisfied. Their “what’s in it for me” approach to life leaves them always grasping for more without the ability to be grateful for what they have right now. Other people typically respond by backing off and declining to give any more to such a grasping person or by trying to “fix” them. My friend was beginning to suspect she might be a fixer and that might make her a Taker in disguise.
Since Takers subconsciously believe that they have to “go after” what they want and “make” it happen, they are in no mood to be fixed. They are stuck in what Ken Kreis calls an “emotional vacuum” so when something they perceive as a need is not being met, they go after filling that need by getting (taking), rather than giving. That is a huge indicator of low self-confidence or self-worth. They are often jealous. They infringe on the rights and space of others while attributing the crowdedness to others invading their space and rights. Do you see a pattern here? They think you are the one with the problem. “Taking” and judging by “what’s in it for me” are the best, and perhaps the only, ways they know how to get what they want. They will drain you of everything you have to give and still resent you because “taking” turns them into a bottomless pit. And they will interpret your normal and natural expectation for gratitude as having strings attached. And guess what. On this one they are right. As soon as you have expectations of any kind, even of receiving what you consider to be gratitude, you have inadvertently negated your gift.
One of the greatest challenges of life is learning unconditional giving, savoring the giving itself as enough. Simply giving and setting it free. Practicing the fine art of allowing the gift to find its own mark …or not.
As we talked, my friend related another story. Several months previously, another friend had gotten married. On the day of the wedding, she had shared some words of wisdom. “No matter what happens, remember to be present in every moment of this day. It will pass quickly and you will want to savor it all.” She spoke the words and forgot them. Months later, her friend mentioned that those words had made all the difference in how she experienced one of the most important days of her life.
I asked her how that made her feel. Great, of course, was her answer. I asked her what was different about the two giving experiences. She noticed two. First, the two friends were very different. One was able to receive and the other was only able to take. Then a light went off - she suddenly recognized how judging her friends’ ability to receive pegged her own feelings on someone else’s actions and how that perspective gave away her personal power. But even more importantly, she realized in one situation she gave and released what she had given - completely forgot about it– and in the other, she expected certain behaviors in return. She had unknowingly set herself up.
And that’s the secret. Unconditional giving makes us feel great. It energizes us and renews our joy in giving. The intended recipient cannot hurt us because we’ve already received our reward through the joy of giving. My friend still wants to become more mindful and less of a “fixer,” but I think she also discovered a new peace in realizing her work is done the moment she gives. The idea of giving and letting it go seemed pretty appealing.
Both of the articles contain checklists for how to recognize a Taker which can serve as a good self-assessment. In answer to my friend’s second question – If I can see this in myself, does that mean I’m a Taker or a Giver? I would say she’s a Growing Giver. It’s rare that Takers see their own actions clearly. That’s part of being a Taker. So I challenge you to take one of the tests. Even Great Givers can grow!
Saturday, January 8, 2011
The Law of Giving
The Law of Giving says “The Giver becomes the Receiver becomes the Giver becomes the Receiver...” in a never-ending bountiful flow.
That’s pretty straightforward. Yet even when we generally understand the reciprocal nature of the flow, it is crucial to seek crystal clear clarity regarding the underlying principles that can either magnify or diminish the results we get. They are the gateway to greater awareness of how the Law works and how we can harness its power with good for all involved.
For starters, the Law says the Giver becomes the Receiver. It doesn’t say the Receiver gets to Give, and that sequence is vitally important. Napoleon Hill, author of Think and Grow Rich, firmly believed that mindful giving was the missing ingredient in most people’s lives. In fact, two of the three steps in his Keys to Success involve giving. Hill taught:
Step 1 – Know exactly what you want. Most people get stuck right here because they are vague about what they want. Any success coach will tell you that most people describe what they want in fuzzy terms such as improved health, more money, or better relationships without ever defining what that means to them. Their clients often fall back on the old “I’ll know it when I see it” defense, but the evidence says they won’t.
Step 2 – Decide exactly what you are willing to give in order to receive what you want. If you want excellent health, you must first give your body good food plus enough sleep and exercise. If you want more money, you must first give something people need or want. If you want loving relationships, you must first give The Golden Rule. Are you willing to do those things? In each case, decide exactly what you are willing to give, making sure that it has true value, of course.
Step 3 – Give first. Start giving right now in pure gratitude with no strings attached. Give thanks that you can give, no matter how “large” or “small” it may seem to be. You must get the cycle started by giving first. If you wait for someone else to go first, you could be waiting a really long time – and won’t know what to do with it when it happens.
I would add a 4th step to what Hill taught.
Step 4 - Practice the Art of Allowing. Remember that the Law of Giving represents a cycle. If the Giver cannot Receive, the cycle will be broken. Some of the best Givers I’ve ever met really struggle with allowing themselves to receive. They get amazingly creative in (subconsciously) blocking their receiving, and that of course kills the cycle. So they end up giving till it hurts or insisting that the Law is flawed instead of opening the flow.
Hill’s Keys to Success are really just another way of expressing the very potent Seed Money Principle which is fundamental to the Law of Giving. The Seed Money Principle states that “Everything we give in pure gratitude with no strings attached will come back to us tenfold.” In other words, we seed our own receiving by giving. As soon as you give, claim your tenfold return making sure that you are doing so in pure gratitude with no strings attached. Using a mantra such as “I am grateful for receiving my tenfold return which has provided good to all involved” will energize your tenfold return and help you practice the Art of Allowing, opening yourself to receive.
And as soon as you receive, give again. Allow receiving that tenfold return to lead straight into the Tithing Principle which teaches us to give back ten percent of everything we receive. And we’ve already learned that everything we give comes back tenfold. See how the cycle is working? It really is just that simple.
Your money, time, and talent MUST be in motion for them to help you, and the ONLY way to put them in motion so they will multiply is to give. If you hide your treasures in the proverbial mattress in a misguided attempt to protect them, they will only suffocate and die, leaving you even worse off. Treasure is only good for you, and others, when it is serving in some way.
The lessons of the Law of Giving are clear and universal. Whether we are speaking of basic science (If you want a different response, you must first give a different stimulus), or friendship (If you want to have a friend, you must first be a friend), or wealth (If you want to earn more, you must first invest), The Law of Giving is a Master Key. It precedes the Law of Attraction (What you give your attention to is what you receive) and is the power behind the Law of Love (Always treat others with the same love and kindness you would like to receive from them). In fact, it is the foundation for all natural laws (What you give is what you get!).
Happy Giving!
To learn more about how to ignite the power of The Law of Giving visit http://www:chickswithchecks.org
That’s pretty straightforward. Yet even when we generally understand the reciprocal nature of the flow, it is crucial to seek crystal clear clarity regarding the underlying principles that can either magnify or diminish the results we get. They are the gateway to greater awareness of how the Law works and how we can harness its power with good for all involved.
For starters, the Law says the Giver becomes the Receiver. It doesn’t say the Receiver gets to Give, and that sequence is vitally important. Napoleon Hill, author of Think and Grow Rich, firmly believed that mindful giving was the missing ingredient in most people’s lives. In fact, two of the three steps in his Keys to Success involve giving. Hill taught:
Step 1 – Know exactly what you want. Most people get stuck right here because they are vague about what they want. Any success coach will tell you that most people describe what they want in fuzzy terms such as improved health, more money, or better relationships without ever defining what that means to them. Their clients often fall back on the old “I’ll know it when I see it” defense, but the evidence says they won’t.
Step 2 – Decide exactly what you are willing to give in order to receive what you want. If you want excellent health, you must first give your body good food plus enough sleep and exercise. If you want more money, you must first give something people need or want. If you want loving relationships, you must first give The Golden Rule. Are you willing to do those things? In each case, decide exactly what you are willing to give, making sure that it has true value, of course.
Step 3 – Give first. Start giving right now in pure gratitude with no strings attached. Give thanks that you can give, no matter how “large” or “small” it may seem to be. You must get the cycle started by giving first. If you wait for someone else to go first, you could be waiting a really long time – and won’t know what to do with it when it happens.
I would add a 4th step to what Hill taught.
Step 4 - Practice the Art of Allowing. Remember that the Law of Giving represents a cycle. If the Giver cannot Receive, the cycle will be broken. Some of the best Givers I’ve ever met really struggle with allowing themselves to receive. They get amazingly creative in (subconsciously) blocking their receiving, and that of course kills the cycle. So they end up giving till it hurts or insisting that the Law is flawed instead of opening the flow.
Hill’s Keys to Success are really just another way of expressing the very potent Seed Money Principle which is fundamental to the Law of Giving. The Seed Money Principle states that “Everything we give in pure gratitude with no strings attached will come back to us tenfold.” In other words, we seed our own receiving by giving. As soon as you give, claim your tenfold return making sure that you are doing so in pure gratitude with no strings attached. Using a mantra such as “I am grateful for receiving my tenfold return which has provided good to all involved” will energize your tenfold return and help you practice the Art of Allowing, opening yourself to receive.
And as soon as you receive, give again. Allow receiving that tenfold return to lead straight into the Tithing Principle which teaches us to give back ten percent of everything we receive. And we’ve already learned that everything we give comes back tenfold. See how the cycle is working? It really is just that simple.
Your money, time, and talent MUST be in motion for them to help you, and the ONLY way to put them in motion so they will multiply is to give. If you hide your treasures in the proverbial mattress in a misguided attempt to protect them, they will only suffocate and die, leaving you even worse off. Treasure is only good for you, and others, when it is serving in some way.
The lessons of the Law of Giving are clear and universal. Whether we are speaking of basic science (If you want a different response, you must first give a different stimulus), or friendship (If you want to have a friend, you must first be a friend), or wealth (If you want to earn more, you must first invest), The Law of Giving is a Master Key. It precedes the Law of Attraction (What you give your attention to is what you receive) and is the power behind the Law of Love (Always treat others with the same love and kindness you would like to receive from them). In fact, it is the foundation for all natural laws (What you give is what you get!).
Happy Giving!
To learn more about how to ignite the power of The Law of Giving visit http://www:chickswithchecks.org
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Full Circle - Social Entrepreneurship at Its Best
Cindy Jenkins has been an entrepreneur unawares for most of her life. Even during her 20 years with a “day job” in the legal field, she always had some sort of business on the side - reupholstery, carpet cleaning, remodeling, and paint and wallpaper. But it wasn’t until she attended the FastTrac SC program that she realized why. The program teaches basic entrepreneurship principles including how to start a business the right way. Her first attempt was a business development company that taught her the downside of spreading yourself too thin. The upside is that it led her to the nonprofit sector. Cindy and nonprofits have turned out to be the proverbial “match made in heaven.”
About the same time she was being drawn to nonprofits, she discovered Groupon and their innovative business model. They send discount deals to thousands of subscribers in their free daily email, and promise that the participating businesses will gain a ton of new customers as a result. As any true entrepreneur would do, Cindy started thinking on how that model could be used by nonprofits.
One morning, she literally woke up with the entire Full Circle idea in her head. All the details - the name, logo, colors, business card – were crystal clear. The concept is simple. In addition to promoting a daily deal, each deal-offering business would also choose a nonprofit to support. Every time a deal was purchased, the nonprofit would receive a percentage of the purchase price. The customers would receive a great deal. The business would receive new customers and oodles of exposure to new audiences. And the nonprofit would receive a donation. Everybody would win! And as Cindy had learned in FastTrac, when everybody wins, everybody wins.
Full Circle is currently running a Sweepstakes to help them get launched in Charleston, SC with plans to expand into other markets soon. The prize is $500 for your favorite nonprofit. To find out how your favorite nonprofit can be the winner (or to help Chicks with Checks win on behalf of one of our favorite nonprofits!) , visit http://www.fullcirclecharleston.com
Together, we can make 2011 the Year of Giving.
About the same time she was being drawn to nonprofits, she discovered Groupon and their innovative business model. They send discount deals to thousands of subscribers in their free daily email, and promise that the participating businesses will gain a ton of new customers as a result. As any true entrepreneur would do, Cindy started thinking on how that model could be used by nonprofits.
One morning, she literally woke up with the entire Full Circle idea in her head. All the details - the name, logo, colors, business card – were crystal clear. The concept is simple. In addition to promoting a daily deal, each deal-offering business would also choose a nonprofit to support. Every time a deal was purchased, the nonprofit would receive a percentage of the purchase price. The customers would receive a great deal. The business would receive new customers and oodles of exposure to new audiences. And the nonprofit would receive a donation. Everybody would win! And as Cindy had learned in FastTrac, when everybody wins, everybody wins.
Full Circle is currently running a Sweepstakes to help them get launched in Charleston, SC with plans to expand into other markets soon. The prize is $500 for your favorite nonprofit. To find out how your favorite nonprofit can be the winner (or to help Chicks with Checks win on behalf of one of our favorite nonprofits!) , visit http://www.fullcirclecharleston.com
Together, we can make 2011 the Year of Giving.
Monday, January 3, 2011
Watchword 2011 - Keeping the Faith
While visiting friends and family down South this past week, I picked up a December issue of Skirt! Magazine. (If you haven’t yet discovered Skirt!, please hop over to their website right now http://www.skirt.com and savor this fun and funky mag.) I was still noodling over my Watchword for 2011, and though there were several good possibilities, none felt like THE word for what is feeling more and more like a VERY IMPORTANT YEAR. I know it will have to do with growing my inner strength, honing my focus, and becoming more comfortable just being Me, but the key theme was still flirtatiously hiding just out of sight. Why couldn’t I see it? What exactly was I afraid of?
Then I picked up Skirt! and read Nikki Hardin’s monthly note to readers. It begins:
“Sometimes you just get tired of being timid, of being afraid, of always saying no to the world. Sometimes you get to the point where your fears get so boring you can hardly stay in the same room with them. Sometimes you exhaust your repertoire of excuses for not doing something new and that’s the point when you have to decide either to restart your life or resign yourself to never being alive.”
Ouch.
The years 1995 – 2010 have been my Phoenix Years. The main characteristics have been taking Big Bold Steps followed by timid, excuse-ridden retreats that naturally resulted in some pretty spectacular crashes. Then rising again, a little clearer and wiser and braver and stronger and more compassionate. But also more frustrated and afraid of getting hurt and messing up or making the same mistakes again.
Fifteen years ago, one of those crossroads times in life occurred. As a child, I had gladly accepted a particular mission, yet had relentlessly pursued a conventional life instead, one that seemed more safe and secure, security being my Number 1 craving. At age 33, an awakening began and it was no longer possible to glide through the days and nights on auto-pilot. Then in 1995 there came that moment of truth, my moment of deciding whether to finally embrace that mission and restart my life if necessary or to accept sleepwalking forever and never being fully alive. I closed my eyes and jumped (taking two teenagers with me), made that initial leap of blind faith trusting that a net would appear from somewhere. That was the first of many “Julia Cameron Moments.”
Surely you have felt those moments, too. You know you can’t stay where you are - well, you could, but you know your spirit will suffocate if you do - yet you are terrified of taking the leap of faith into whatever comes next. For me, the security I had so deeply craved had become a prison whose bars were made of the little bits of me I was giving up along the way. If I stayed in this place I had so painstakingly created, the essence of Me would die forever. The crossroads was looming. Safety or Embracing Life. Security or Fulfilling Mission. Emptiness or Fulfillment. That’s what it really came down to. And in that moment, without even knowing exactly what I was doing, I took a leap of pure blind faith.
Freed from the shackles of my self-imposed security, my spiritual quest began in earnest. I have devoured books by the dozen, soaked up the teachings of those who were already more enlightened, and sought the company of fellow seekers. Things started happening fast, faster than I was ready to accept, so I also spent a fair amount of time scurrying under rocks and seeking out shadows to hide in. And that, of course, brought on another major crossroads.
I had made that first leap with pure childlike faith as if I had angel wings attached. And, of course, I did. We all do. All progress starts with acknowledging that it’s time for change. All change requires a heaping helping of faith, even if we aren’t aware of its presence. The first step is always courageous regardless of whether it’s “big” or “small.” And the theme that runs throughout is faith.
It doesn’t matter that I’ve done some things in this lifetime that bring me to my knees with pain or embarrassment. The key is having the faith to get up and go again, having the faith to say “Whew! That was a tough lesson and what a valuable lesson it was.” My dear friend Amie Chilson, who always inspires and humbles me, says “The baggage we carry is self induced…at any moment we can decide to lay it all down. If we were all to forgive the skeletons in our closets and agree to be transparent, the world would definitely be a different place than it is now.” Amen, Sister!
You see, I firmly believe we are here for only one reason – to remember how to Love. And that begins with learning to love ourselves warts and all and that, my friends, takes faith. Faith that we are divine creations. Faith that good can and does overcome evil. Faith that loves love conquers all. Faith that putting one foot in front of the other will always get us where we are going.
That means I also firmly believe everything in this world falls into one of these two categories – love or fear. Therefore, everything that is not love is fear. Anger is fear. Criticism is fear. Blame is fear. Doubt is fear. Second guessing is fear. Complaining is fear. Fear is all about being timid…and insecure. And what is the opposite of fear? Boldness. Love. Faith.
So here’s to a 2011 rooted in Faith and fueled by Love.
So that’s it. The watchword for 2011 is Faith as in “Have a little Faith,” “Take a leap of Faith,” or even “Keep the Faith, Baby.”
Happy New Year and take that leap of faith. I promise your net will appear!
Then I picked up Skirt! and read Nikki Hardin’s monthly note to readers. It begins:
“Sometimes you just get tired of being timid, of being afraid, of always saying no to the world. Sometimes you get to the point where your fears get so boring you can hardly stay in the same room with them. Sometimes you exhaust your repertoire of excuses for not doing something new and that’s the point when you have to decide either to restart your life or resign yourself to never being alive.”
Ouch.
The years 1995 – 2010 have been my Phoenix Years. The main characteristics have been taking Big Bold Steps followed by timid, excuse-ridden retreats that naturally resulted in some pretty spectacular crashes. Then rising again, a little clearer and wiser and braver and stronger and more compassionate. But also more frustrated and afraid of getting hurt and messing up or making the same mistakes again.
Fifteen years ago, one of those crossroads times in life occurred. As a child, I had gladly accepted a particular mission, yet had relentlessly pursued a conventional life instead, one that seemed more safe and secure, security being my Number 1 craving. At age 33, an awakening began and it was no longer possible to glide through the days and nights on auto-pilot. Then in 1995 there came that moment of truth, my moment of deciding whether to finally embrace that mission and restart my life if necessary or to accept sleepwalking forever and never being fully alive. I closed my eyes and jumped (taking two teenagers with me), made that initial leap of blind faith trusting that a net would appear from somewhere. That was the first of many “Julia Cameron Moments.”
Surely you have felt those moments, too. You know you can’t stay where you are - well, you could, but you know your spirit will suffocate if you do - yet you are terrified of taking the leap of faith into whatever comes next. For me, the security I had so deeply craved had become a prison whose bars were made of the little bits of me I was giving up along the way. If I stayed in this place I had so painstakingly created, the essence of Me would die forever. The crossroads was looming. Safety or Embracing Life. Security or Fulfilling Mission. Emptiness or Fulfillment. That’s what it really came down to. And in that moment, without even knowing exactly what I was doing, I took a leap of pure blind faith.
Freed from the shackles of my self-imposed security, my spiritual quest began in earnest. I have devoured books by the dozen, soaked up the teachings of those who were already more enlightened, and sought the company of fellow seekers. Things started happening fast, faster than I was ready to accept, so I also spent a fair amount of time scurrying under rocks and seeking out shadows to hide in. And that, of course, brought on another major crossroads.
I had made that first leap with pure childlike faith as if I had angel wings attached. And, of course, I did. We all do. All progress starts with acknowledging that it’s time for change. All change requires a heaping helping of faith, even if we aren’t aware of its presence. The first step is always courageous regardless of whether it’s “big” or “small.” And the theme that runs throughout is faith.
It doesn’t matter that I’ve done some things in this lifetime that bring me to my knees with pain or embarrassment. The key is having the faith to get up and go again, having the faith to say “Whew! That was a tough lesson and what a valuable lesson it was.” My dear friend Amie Chilson, who always inspires and humbles me, says “The baggage we carry is self induced…at any moment we can decide to lay it all down. If we were all to forgive the skeletons in our closets and agree to be transparent, the world would definitely be a different place than it is now.” Amen, Sister!
You see, I firmly believe we are here for only one reason – to remember how to Love. And that begins with learning to love ourselves warts and all and that, my friends, takes faith. Faith that we are divine creations. Faith that good can and does overcome evil. Faith that loves love conquers all. Faith that putting one foot in front of the other will always get us where we are going.
That means I also firmly believe everything in this world falls into one of these two categories – love or fear. Therefore, everything that is not love is fear. Anger is fear. Criticism is fear. Blame is fear. Doubt is fear. Second guessing is fear. Complaining is fear. Fear is all about being timid…and insecure. And what is the opposite of fear? Boldness. Love. Faith.
So here’s to a 2011 rooted in Faith and fueled by Love.
So that’s it. The watchword for 2011 is Faith as in “Have a little Faith,” “Take a leap of Faith,” or even “Keep the Faith, Baby.”
Happy New Year and take that leap of faith. I promise your net will appear!
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