Watchword 2011 - Keeping the Faith

While visiting friends and family down South this past week, I picked up a December issue of Skirt! Magazine. (If you haven’t yet discovered Skirt!, please hop over to their website right now http://www.skirt.com and savor this fun and funky mag.) I was still noodling over my Watchword for 2011, and though there were several good possibilities, none felt like THE word for what is feeling more and more like a VERY IMPORTANT YEAR. I know it will have to do with growing my inner strength, honing my focus, and becoming more comfortable just being Me, but the key theme was still flirtatiously hiding just out of sight. Why couldn’t I see it? What exactly was I afraid of?

Then I picked up Skirt! and read Nikki Hardin’s monthly note to readers. It begins:

“Sometimes you just get tired of being timid, of being afraid, of always saying no to the world. Sometimes you get to the point where your fears get so boring you can hardly stay in the same room with them. Sometimes you exhaust your repertoire of excuses for not doing something new and that’s the point when you have to decide either to restart your life or resign yourself to never being alive.”

Ouch.

The years 1995 – 2010 have been my Phoenix Years. The main characteristics have been taking Big Bold Steps followed by timid, excuse-ridden retreats that naturally resulted in some pretty spectacular crashes. Then rising again, a little clearer and wiser and braver and stronger and more compassionate. But also more frustrated and afraid of getting hurt and messing up or making the same mistakes again.

Fifteen years ago, one of those crossroads times in life occurred. As a child, I had gladly accepted a particular mission, yet had relentlessly pursued a conventional life instead, one that seemed more safe and secure, security being my Number 1 craving. At age 33, an awakening began and it was no longer possible to glide through the days and nights on auto-pilot. Then in 1995 there came that moment of truth, my moment of deciding whether to finally embrace that mission and restart my life if necessary or to accept sleepwalking forever and never being fully alive. I closed my eyes and jumped (taking two teenagers with me), made that initial leap of blind faith trusting that a net would appear from somewhere. That was the first of many “Julia Cameron Moments.”

Surely you have felt those moments, too. You know you can’t stay where you are - well, you could, but you know your spirit will suffocate if you do - yet you are terrified of taking the leap of faith into whatever comes next. For me, the security I had so deeply craved had become a prison whose bars were made of the little bits of me I was giving up along the way. If I stayed in this place I had so painstakingly created, the essence of Me would die forever. The crossroads was looming. Safety or Embracing Life. Security or Fulfilling Mission. Emptiness or Fulfillment. That’s what it really came down to. And in that moment, without even knowing exactly what I was doing, I took a leap of pure blind faith.

Freed from the shackles of my self-imposed security, my spiritual quest began in earnest. I have devoured books by the dozen, soaked up the teachings of those who were already more enlightened, and sought the company of fellow seekers. Things started happening fast, faster than I was ready to accept, so I also spent a fair amount of time scurrying under rocks and seeking out shadows to hide in. And that, of course, brought on another major crossroads.

I had made that first leap with pure childlike faith as if I had angel wings attached. And, of course, I did. We all do. All progress starts with acknowledging that it’s time for change. All change requires a heaping helping of faith, even if we aren’t aware of its presence. The first step is always courageous regardless of whether it’s “big” or “small.” And the theme that runs throughout is faith.

It doesn’t matter that I’ve done some things in this lifetime that bring me to my knees with pain or embarrassment. The key is having the faith to get up and go again, having the faith to say “Whew! That was a tough lesson and what a valuable lesson it was.” My dear friend Amie Chilson, who always inspires and humbles me, says “The baggage we carry is self induced…at any moment we can decide to lay it all down. If we were all to forgive the skeletons in our closets and agree to be transparent, the world would definitely be a different place than it is now.” Amen, Sister!

You see, I firmly believe we are here for only one reason – to remember how to Love. And that begins with learning to love ourselves warts and all and that, my friends, takes faith. Faith that we are divine creations. Faith that good can and does overcome evil. Faith that loves love conquers all. Faith that putting one foot in front of the other will always get us where we are going.

That means I also firmly believe everything in this world falls into one of these two categories – love or fear. Therefore, everything that is not love is fear. Anger is fear. Criticism is fear. Blame is fear. Doubt is fear. Second guessing is fear. Complaining is fear. Fear is all about being timid…and insecure. And what is the opposite of fear? Boldness. Love. Faith.

So here’s to a 2011 rooted in Faith and fueled by Love.

So that’s it. The watchword for 2011 is Faith as in “Have a little Faith,” “Take a leap of Faith,” or even “Keep the Faith, Baby.”

Happy New Year and take that leap of faith. I promise your net will appear!