Alchemy of Adversity

There are thousands of ways to express the message of overcoming adversity; one of the most popular is “When life hands you lemons, make lemonade.” However, it often isn’t until we are tested personally and profoundly that we go beyond sound bites and enter into a place of deep understanding actually embodying this powerful principle.

In 2002, I experienced two life-changing events. First, I landed the largest contract of my entire career. It was a huge compliment after years of hard work and relationship-building. I excitedly hired new employees, rented spiffy new offices, and secretly counted the money and all the great referrals that were sure to come. Then right on the heels of that great news, I was diagnosed with breast cancer and started what would become a roller coaster ride lasting several years.

Though the fatigue was sometimes crushing, I was fortunate to get through the surgery, chemo, and radiation with no nausea. Then after the scary part was over, a raging infection coupled with a horrible reaction to Tamoxifen including relentless depression, paranoia, anxiety, and panic brought me to the lowest point of my life.

With no one trained yet to be second in command, my absence and inability to lead created an insurmountable obstacle. One employee even chose this time to embezzle. My emotional, spiritual, and physical health had deteriorated to the point where I could barely leave the house and my financial health was on the road to ruin, but three miracles occurred during that down time.

The first miracle was that I had time to finally finish developing the powerful coaching program I had toyed with for years. Clients, smart people, would bang their heads against the wall trying to figure out why they kept getting ripped up by the same old things. We may know that the problem is rooted in the personal experiences that have shaped why we do things the way we do, but it can be buried so deeply in our subconscious, we can remain stumped even after doing lots of personal development work, wondering what could still be holding us back or tripping us up or where that little gremlin is hiding. We are told to shift habits, make better choices, and monitor our thoughts, but wouldn’t we all do that if we just knew how? I was in a place where I desperately needed to shift my own thoughts and habits, but knew something was still lurking even though I had taught this stuff for years. Creating a simple, effective roadmap became a personal quest.

The second miracle was the creation of Chicks with Checks. In many communities including my own the same people always seem to turn up at business and networking events. And they are just so darn rigid with all their rules about giving your “elevator speech” and bringing leads. I was weary! What had happened to good old-fashioned conversation and relationships? And even though I was a lifelong hands-on philanthropist and volunteer, I was finding it hard to connect with local grassroots nonprofits. How could I find the local low profile, high impact non-profits who were on the front lines, doing the tough work in our communities every day? The two questions merged and Chicks with Checks was born with the idea of forming local chapters connected by a virtual community to raise awareness and funds for local nonprofits in a fun, easy way.

The third miracle is the best of all, the one that made everything worthwhile. By the time we are adults, we have all developed our share of bad habits and had our share of bad relationships. We have all collected a lot of stuff that we haul from house to house as we “move up.” When you are fighting for your life, there is no longer any energy or room to drag around all that baggage and it gets jettisoned in self-defense. The beauty is that releasing the junk frees us up to create something new and better. It literally makes room in our lives for the things we wanted all along, but could never quite find the time or make the space. Just as alchemy burns off everything except the gold, adversity can burn us down to our personal essence, making it possible to rise again with only the best of ourselves.

At the end of the movie Crazy, Sexy, Cancer, Kris Carr says “I would never call cancer a gift because I wouldn’t give it to you.” Fair enough. But here is what it gave to me. A clean slate. A new focus. It forced me to stop, to get off the treadmill, to think, to feel, to let go, to hang on.

I still wouldn’t wish cancer on my worst enemy, but today I am thankful it happened to me. And remember - No matter what happens, not matter how many lemons you are handed, make lemonade. Live. Really live. And spiking that lemonade with a little Vodka never hurt either!

Anne Newell
Founder
http://www.chickswithchecks.org/

Anne Newell, M.Ed., is an organizational consultant, executive coach, certified Grief Recovery® specialist, single mom, and cancer conqueror. Shortly after her first chemo treatment, Anne’s hair fell out and she began wearing a wig. Nothing unique about that, but in her case, a funny thing began happening – strangers started asking who did her hair! After the third or fourth incident, she wrote in her journal “Dear God, if you wanted me to change my hairdo, you could have just said so!” As she wondered what else might need changing, a turning point blossomed. Cancer became an opportunity to clean house, get rid of whatever needed to be gone, and define the next chapter in LIFE. So far, she has founded Chicks with Checks, indulged her passions by working in a book store and a wine shop (her credit card was NOT allowed to come to work with her), published two books, refocused her practice on women and nonprofits, traveled to Guatemala on a mission trip, and reconnected with her childhood sweetheart. She has managed to avoid jumping out of perfectly good airplanes.

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