Cultivate a Culture of Kindness

Would you be willing to implement a culture of kindness in your home or company? That’s what Lisa Cotter Metwaly of Q Kindness Café in St. Paul is proposing.

All too often the Golden Rule is preached – literally - and yet it sometimes seems as if the general practice more closely resembles “Do unto others what they have done unto you” or “Do unto others when they have a specific need.” It isn’t really that we are overtly mean; in fact, most of us truly have great intentions. It’s just that we seem to react more often than we pro-act. We get busy and before we know it, we’re bringing casseroles when someone is sick (reacting) instead of when they are well (pro-acting).

Maybe that’s why Lisa’s idea struck such a deep chord. It’s so simple, but oh-my-goodness what could happen as a result. She suggests that we all designate the first week of each month as Celebrate Kindness Week. During that week, we each consciously initiate just one kind act each day and invite our families, friends, and employees/colleagues to join us. Simple things such as sharing something, calling someone to wish them well, letting someone go ahead of you in the checkout line, treating someone anonymously, sending a note or “thinking of you” email (not a forward), sincerely complimenting someone, smiling at strangers on the street, washing the dishes when it isn’t your turn. Use your imagination!

Then pay attention to what comes next because I can promise you it will be magic.

If the recipient notices and thanks you, share what’s up and invite them to join in by initiating an act of kindness of their own. Then you give a second act of kindness by allowing it to be their decision with no pressure or further input from you. If they don’t notice or thank you, treat it as an intentional anonymous gift and give the second act of kindness by allowing them to receive (or not) as they are able. Got a curmudgeon in your midst? The alchemy of kindness can transform the surliest of people!

But even more importantly, watch what happens in your own life. When you give kindness, you will literally be blown away by what you receive because giving kindness clears the space for you to receive kindness and lovely surprises of all variety. Consciously giving kindness always benefits both the giver and the receiver.

When you neglect or refuse to give kindness, your own “house” becomes cluttered with selfishness or worse. In a cluttered house, there is no room for you to receive. When you neglect or refuse to give kindness, you close yourself off from receiving kindness and won’t even notice those times when it is given to you. You could be the intended recipient yet unable to receive. You could literally die longing for kindness and seeking it elsewhere, blind to what is right before your eyes, never understanding the work that is required to receive kindness or keep it coming. We all want to receive kindness, but what are you willing to give in order to receive what you want? Start giving it now. Give first. THAT is the work that is required to open your eyes and to receive.

Are you in? Shall we unite and share the kindness that surrounds us? My guess is that once we start to consciously give kindness we won’t be able to contain it to one week a month.

And please be so kind as to share your results at the Q Kindness Café, 350 St. Peter Street, Saint Paul, MN or on Facebook at the Q Kindness Café Group http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/pages/Saint-Paul-MN/The-Q-Kindness-Cafe/177961346376?ref=ts&__a=24&ajaxpipe=1

Kindness is contagious. Start an epidemic!

The Kindness of Strangers

Today, I was given a remarkable gift, the second one in less than a week from the same benevolent stranger .

I recently put together my first website. No, I didn’t code it - you know better than that! It’s a Ning site for our sister organization, The Protogenia Project. It had been fun up until last week.

The first stumbling block came when I tried to integrate an Amazon bookstore so we could sell the books, CDs, DVDs and other cool products from our wonderful members, especially those who were featured in the book that inspired the website. (Free download at http://www.protogeniaproject.com/) Amazon makes it so easy, but there was a teensy hitch. The store didn’t quite fit within the Ning frame; it was cutting off the part that allowed people to buy and this was way beyond my beginner ability. Nowhere in the Amazon help section was there an answer for this particular problem so I tackled another first – I posted a question to the aStore discussion board. Several answer posts appeared, then I heard from a woman who gave simple step-by-step instructions and went on to go the second and third mile. Araby generously created a narrow template complete with clear instructions on how to implement it. When that almost, but not quite, solved the problem, she figured that out, too.

Hmmmmm….wonder if she could help solve my other pesky problem? I wanted to put a “Find Us on Facebook” clickable image on the Protogenia Project home page so folks could find our Facebook fan page. Both Facebook and Ning make that easy in theory, but once again there was a stumbling block. For some reason, the hyperlink wasn’t “sticking.” The image showed up, but didn’t go anywhere even after adding the hyperlink html. Those of you who know me personally know that part of me still thinks all of this is magic. Maybe I wasn’t twitching my nose correctly or something.

Once again, Araby stepped in and stuck with it until the problem was solved.

To someone with more knowledge or experience, these problems probably wouldn’t be problems at all. For me, they were dead ends beyond which I could not move without help.

This woman doesn’t know me. We’ve never met and as far as I know, we don’t have any mutual friends. In the course of our conversation, we did discover that we have lived near Charleston, SC though we were separated by 15 years. She simply saw the problem, knew she had something to offer, and gave it. That’s all. But that was everything.

I can’t help but wonder what would happen in the world if each of us made a conscious effort to give something every day. I dare you. Don’t worry whether it is “big” or “small.” Araby’s example has reminded me that sometimes the things we take for granted are exactly the things someone else needs to receive. What information can you share? What introduction can you make? Who can you give a smile?

Giving is contagious. Start an epidemic.

And thank you, Araby. You already feel like a friend.